


To Live as a Person

by Kintsukuroi



Category: Watchmen - All Media Types
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Gen, M/M, Slow Build, really slow build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-16
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2018-02-17 14:23:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2312756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kintsukuroi/pseuds/Kintsukuroi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first winter after Roche is a bad one for Rorschach. Daniel's noticed the rapid change in his partner and jumps at the opportunity to help. Rorschach is more than a little reluctant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Janurary 15th & 16th - Prologue

January 15th - The city was quiet as it prepared for the big snow that was promised. People had done their emergency shopping, Daniel included, and bunked down for the week and the snow it promised. He considered whether he would go out tonight, or the nights after. Crime never stopped but they already had a foot of snow, and two more were promised. Surely there wouldn't be much crime. He decided if Rorschach came to shame him for spending a lazy week in, he'd go out. He could be useful. But if he were left to his own devices, he'd stay in. Sometimes it came down to that. He wanted as much as the next mask to make the world a safer place, but he just didn't have, none of them had, the drive that made Rorschach disregard everything. Since the Roche case six months ago, his drive had become insatiable. He meted out brutal justice in a thirsty way. The way of a man who was punishing the world and everything in it. 

Daniel had been worried when it first happened. It wasn't that he wasn't worried now. He was certainly worried, but without an opening there was simply nothing he could do. The Roche case had changed him. It had been stark. If Daniel had thought Rorschach was distant and violent before, it had nothing on the cold, brutal efficiency that had been born of that case. First the man had disappeared for a month. Daniel wondered if he were dead. When he did show up, he looked terrible. He was filthier than he ever had been before, again, something Daniel hadn't thought could get worse. He hadn't bothered to patch himself or his clothes up. He hadn't said anything. He'd taken and eaten a can of beans while Daniel sat at the table waiting for an explanation. Then he had disappeared again. It had taken half a dozen of these quiet, brief encounters before Rorschach had asked him to come along. 

Everything was different. They no longer congratulated each other after a hard night's crime fighting. There had been a short, reassuring handshake before. They didn't do that anymore. Rorschach had given his hand a hard look when he tried. As if to say "No, we haven't earned that." They worked together once a week, always parting quietly somewhere along the way. Daniel couldn't keep up, either. Rorschach's patrol went well into dawn. Daniel only stayed out until three or four in the morning. He had no idea when Rorschach slept. 

He half wanted him to come by. At least Daniel would be able to see he was alright. He had no idea about Rorschach's living situation but men of means didn't steal food from their partner's cabinet and forgo bathing. A sensation of plummeting filled his chest at that thought. As it always did. Rorschach obviously had very little. Daniel had always been obliging for that reason. Daniel imagined he put so much time into crime fighting, he didn't have time to hold a regular job. Or if he did, it had to be part time. He had never asked. Asking would be unwelcome. It had always been a lingering, depressing mystery on the edge of his mind. 

It wasn't until that third day of the snow-in that Daniel had company. He heard sloshing in the tunnel and then the figure came around the corner. His coat looked like it had been padded with something, and there was a slight ruffling noise as he moved. Daniel couldn't put his finger on what it was. "Hey. Good to see ya." he said with a smile, looking his friend up and down. Rorschach just nodded and looked around the room. 

"Going out?" Rorschach asked after a moment.

"No. And you shouldn't either. Is the tunnel flooded that bad?" 

Rorschach finally looked down at his legs. He was soaked in what was probably freezing water to his knees. 

"It's fine." Rorschach said. He was impassive. His body language was tense, somewhere between wanting to invade his kitchen and ready to leave. 

"It's not fine. You're wearing those dress shoes. Your feet are soaked. If you go out you'll lose your toes." Daniel fussed. He didn't take a step forward yet to force Rorschach to come inside. He had to talk first. He knew the routine. Handling Rorschach was like being a lion tamer, professional wrestler, and international peacekeeper all at once. He had to balance it perfectly or he'd run away. 

"Movement creates heat." 

"Not that much, come on." 

"Going out. You don't have to." Rorschach turned to retreat but Daniel caught that little bit of hesitation. He wasn't even sure Rorschach was aware of it. He was so used to reading the man.

"I'll come. Just let me get changed." Daniel said, holding his hands up. He went upstairs to put on his long-johns. They'd help insulate him more in his winter suit. He wasn't looking forward to this. He put on two pairs of socks, and grabbed a thick spare roll. Going back downstairs to pull on his suit, he tossed them to Rorschach. 

"Put those on. At least your socks don't have to be wet. It'll help some." He knew the shoes would still be soaked. They'd worked together long enough he knew those shoes did nothing where water was concerned. He'd offer him boots, but their sizes were very different. That had been a fun night. How many years ago was that? Rorschach trying to run in too large boots after his split along the seam.

Rorschach looked at them a moment, tempted to toss them back, but instead sat down with his back to Daniel and started taking his shoe off. Daniel needed a few minutes to get into his suit anyway. He threw the old socks into the garbage bin. Daniel had already known he wasn't ever going to see the lent pair again. It was a small price to pay to know his partner would have somewhat dry feet. 

"We'll take Archie... If we don't see anyone by the time your pants dry, we'll come back here and you can bunk on the couch." 

"Daniel...." The tone was warning, but not angry. That meant receptive. It'd happened a couple times before. Rorschach would agree to sleep on the couch, or more commonly the arm chair. He'd sit up all night in his costume, dead asleep. It was almost funny. That hadn't been the case since Roche. 

They got into Archie and took off into the night. They flew overhead for two hours. Even in the worst neighborhoods, things were quiet. Prostitutes weren't even out. Everything was serene. Rorschach had taken to pacing the ship as they flew. He didn't like being confined, even now years later. 

Finally, Daniel noticed, Rorschach's pants were dry and stiff as he walked. It was almost two in the morning and the snow had started to come down thick. 

"Let's go back. I have some beans and yo- we can get some rest." he said, correcting himself quickly. "You don't actually want to walk home in this, do you?" 

Rorschach was quiet as they flew back. He accepted the offer to come to the kitchen. He had a can of beans and a can of pasta. Daniel noted that. It was exceedingly rare that Rorschach would take two cans in one night. He wondered if the guy had eaten recently when he noticed him eyeballing the pantry again. He resolved to send at least one can home with him tomorrow. 

"You can have the couch." 

"Should go. Leaving during the day will be impossible."

"Stay through tomorrow. I could use some help with Archie. I have a couple repairs that I could use an extra pair of hands on." That did it. Rorschach was still a moment, then nodded. He would stay. It always, always worked if he had some way Rorschach could justify staying. Some little job. Any gesture of returning the favor. He internally patted himself on the back. 

"I'll get some blankets." 

"I'm fine." Rorschach said quickly. 

"I'll get them anyway. What is it you're always telling me about being ready for anything? What if the power goes out?" He went upstairs and dug a few blankets out of the closet. They hadn't seen the light of day since last time Rorschach was here. 

"Living room is yours. You know where the bathrooms are. Help yourself to... well... anything." He hoped somewhat dearly that Rorschach would have a shower. It had happened once. A single, solitary occasion. They'd both been covered in something particularly foul and Daniel had insisted he shower. The substance, whatever it had been, had caused Rorschach's visible skin to break out into hives. Daniel hadn't had so extreme a reaction. He had been hard pressed to get him to shower then, too. He went to the kitchen to get himself some water. He pulled a couple cans of food out and left them haphazardly on the counter, hoping Rorschach would think he could take a couple unnoticed. He was sure he wasn't fooling the man. No, Rorschach had a razor-sharp mind. This was just part of their unspoken tradition. He passed the living room one more time with his glass of water. "Sleep well." he said sincerely, looking at Rorschach. He got a nod in return and went up the stairs. 

Trusting the Rorschach would stay was the hard part. If he came down to check, the man would leave. Daniel had learned that from experienced. He imagined the man felt imposed upon if he was checked on. No. Trusting him to do as he said was key here. 

He settled into bed and turned off the light. He would lay there in the dark, staring a the blur of the world without his glasses, maybe for hours. He could see shadows moving through his window where thick snow passed in front of the street light. 

After an hour, he heard someone come upstairs. The bathroom door opened, then shut. He heard the sink run for almost fifteen minutes straight. He heard the towel cabinet open and shut. Then the bathroom was vacated. He stayed in bed and slowly fell asleep. 

 

January 16 - When he woke in the morning, breakfast was cooked. Scrambled eggs and sliced ham. He didn't say anything. He wouldn't even thank Rorschach for the cooking. He'd done that once and had gotten a confused look in return. "This is good," he said instead. "You should have some." 

Rorschach had a few bites, but no more. He opted instead to eat a few sugar cubes.

"So, still up for helping me Archie?" Dan asked with a smile.

"Yeah. Can do." Rorschach said, crunching another sugar cube. 

"Great. I have the parts made, I just need someone to help hold them in place while I bolt them on and run some wires."

Rorschach nodded. They returned to the basement as soon as Daniel finished his food. Daniel directed him where to hold. They had to take the front plate off the ship so he could work on the engine. It was heavy enough and awkward. Rorschach held it upright as it was loosened and they moved it against the wall. Daniel dropped the free bolts into Rorschach's coat pocket. An experimental gesture. He didn't let his hand find its way into the pocket, he just dropped the bolt in. He played it off as a pragmatic choice, having no loose pockets himself. 

They removed the engine so he could get to the back of it. He needed to do some routine maintenance on it and replace one of the landing hydraulics behind it. He set to work, handing Rorschach tools to hold for him. They were always provided when he asked. He could have set them on the ground, but this gave Rorschach reason to stay. He didn't want to break the flow. 

He dropped more bolts into the pocket of his coat. He'd figured out the rustling inside. Rorschach had insulated his coat with some kind of paper. Probably newspaper. It made Dan wonder if he was homeless. That thought terrified him. It went beyond concern. It was beyond his normal charitable feelings to downright terror. It implied so many things he always thought about his friend. He wondered if he should test that thing he'd made. It'd be risky. He'd surely be killed if he were caught... but somehow he didn't think he would be. He thought on it. 

"Ok, can you sort of..." he looked at the problem "Support the engine while I unbolt it." It was heavy, but he knew his partner was strong. It'd be leaning at a thirty degree angle on him, so he'd only be supporting about half the weight. Rorschach nodded and braced his entire body against it, hands gripping the bottom corner. Daniel made quick work of unbolting it and attaching the improved part. Rorschach was breathing hard, but somehow Dan knew he wouldn't have been satisfied if the work hadn't been hard. He'd have said something about Daniel doing it alone and left. 

They put the front plate back on. Daniel confidently reached into the pocket he'd dropped the bolts in. He felt Rorschach stiffen, but the heavy front of the ship made it so he couldn't move away or strike at him. By the fourth bolt, Rorschach had figured out he was only after the bolts. 

Daniel chuckled when they were done.

"Two spare bolts, Daniel." 

"Yeah." Dan looked at them where they sat in the purple glove. "There's always spare pieces when you work on these things." 

Rorschach looked as though he distrusted the ship's structural integrity as he put the bolts back in his coat. 

"Flooding should be frozen. Can probably get out without being detected. It's quiet out." 

Daniel tried to come up with something else they could do. Anything he could pass off as work. After a few long seconds he said "Would it hurt anything if you stayed?"

He knew the answer before it was even said. "Hmph. You're a good man, Daniel." And with that he turned and headed for the tunnel. 

If he'd bothered to look back, he'd have seen Daniel staring at his retreating back. Trying to think of anything to convince him to not go back out into the cold. Wincing when he heard the tunnel was NOT frozen over. A slushy, terrible sound.

Dan waited until he couldn't hear anymore and went into the kitchen. Rorschach hadn't touched the cans he'd left out. He wouldn't be back tonight.


	2. February 1st

Feburary 1 -   
  
It had been weeks since Daniel had seen Rorschach. He was out of his mind. The snow was just beginning to melt. It sat in great piles all up and down the roads. The sidewalks were slushy with dirty, black snow. The few parking lots in his area had stories tall snow piles in them. And Rorschach had been missing the entire time. Daniel had gone out every night after the storm itself stopped, hoping to catch sight of him. There'd been only a few reports in the paper that he could match up to Rorschach... But any pattern there might have been was a dead end. He wasn't working on a case. Daniel had tried to follow the reports but had failed to catch sight of the man.  
  
He spent as much time as he could, especially early in the night, in his cave. He started leaving a small stack of canned food beside the tunnel in case Rorschach came by. The pile had grown to include two blankets, a large jug of water, and a backpack of random things he wish he knew Rorschach had in his day to day life. Socks, a scarf that wasn't part of his costume, a hat. None of it was touched.   
  
It wasn't until the month ended that Rorschach turned up. He came down the tunnel, fighting through slush, and as though no time passed since he'd last been there asked "Going out?"   
  
Daniel startled. He had heard the man walking through the slush, but written it off. He'd spent the better part of a week jumping up and running every time he thought he heard movement in the tunnel. He just assumed it was wishful thinking. "Hey, buddy. Long time-"   
  
Rorschach didn't answer. "Find where the bolts go?" he asked, digging them out of his pocket.  
  
"I haven't worked on Archie since then..."   
  
"Then we're walking." He sat them on the work bench.  
  
"Yeah. Yeah... Just let me get changed." Daniel was almost shaking. He felt suddenly wound up. He changed quickly, worried his partner would disappear down the tunnel again. Daniel came back pulling his boot on with one hand and his cowl on with the other.  
  
They went back down the tunnel. Rorschach had cut a path through the muck on his way to the house. Daniel felt terrible. It wasn't as deep as last time, but it was still at the very least ankle deep. Rorschach had to be soaked. He didn't have much of a chance to think about it once they were out of the tunnel. Not two blocks later they were attacked. Rorschach had walked passed a side-alley while Daniel stared at the sky. Some idiot, not knowing who he thought he was sneaking up on, had run around the corner at Rorschach's back and grabbed him.   
  
He elbowed the would-be mugger and spun around. As soon as the man knew who he'd attempted to mug, he started screaming and trying to flee. Rorschach broke one ankle and maybe the opposite wrist before lugging him to the end of the road. He tied the broken ankle to a fire hydrant and left a pre-written note. The police would finish up.   
  
"That happens a lot." Dan mused twenty minutes later. "I think it's the scarf."   
  
Rorschach stopped and looked at him.   
  
"Well think about it. You're a mugger... who wears scarves? Rich people. Mostly rich old ladies. The coat, well... Maybe they think you're.. I mean, it's dark."   
  
They got quiet and walked. They were on their third break up... Four guys harrassing a woman, trying to drag her down an alley, when the night was brought to an end. Two were knocked out, a third on the ground and Rorschach was wrestling the last. The third guy pulled a knife and buried it deep into Rorschach's calf. Aside from being a deep flesh wound, it only served to anger Rorschach. He started kicking the man in the face, stomping him when he rolled onto his back.   
  
"Whoa. Whoa!" Daniel said, stopping him. "We have to get you back to the Nest."   
  
"It's fine."  
  
Daniel could feel how incredulous the look on his face was. "Going on the handle, there's four inches of knife in your leg. God knows what it's hit."   
  
Rorschach reached down to pull it out but Daniel stopped him. "I'll carry you back, it's only three blocks to one of the tunnel entries."  
  
"I'll walk." Daniel sighed at Rorschach's insistance.   
  
"How about you walk to the tunnel and I carry you the rest of the way?"   
  
"I'll. Walk."   
  
"Fine.... but you are coming back with me." Rorschach seemed to have already figured out he wasn't getting away.   
  
Daniel marveled the entire way back at the Rorschach's determination not to limp too badly. With the knife still in place he wasn't bleeding too badly yet. They got to the tunnel. Rorschach accepted some help on the descent, unable to bend his leg the right way to climb the ladder properly. Daniel stood at the top and held one of his hands while he lowered himself one arm and legged to the ground. Daniel jumped down, close enough to throw Rorschach off balance and scooped him up. He put him over his shoulder.   
  
Rorschach predictably flailed his good leg and arms. He hit at Daniel's back, protesting with snarls. At once point it felt like the man was headbutting his spine. Daniel made a note to ask how the hat stayed on in that position.   
  
After two blocks the fight had gone out of Rorschach. He switched to threatening what he'd do when put down.   
  
"Then I'll carry you over my shoulder forever."   
  
"Have to sleep sometime." That almost sounded like equal parts threat and joke.   
  
"Look, it wouldn't do to have you sloshing around in this muck. It's thicker here than near the house. You're lucky I know you got a tetanus shot." And hadn't that been an adventure. He'd administered it himself but it had involved a chase that extended all over his home and down the street in the dead of night. He'd had his nose broken in response and a long lecture on how the companies were poisoning them all with the shots. Rorschach hadn't spoken to him for two months after that.   
  
They were quiet the rest of the way home. Daniel kept quiet and tried to take stock of his partner's condition. He likely wouldn't get a better chance than right now. He could feel under his glove where his hand rested on a jutting hip bone. And Rorschach was hardly heavier than the bags of pigeon food he used to buy. He knew his partner was short. He'd always been light. Something was wrong now. He didn't move his hand at all as he tried to get a feel for his partner's condition. He smelled terrible. Worse than the tunnel. Worse than ever before. That didn't speak well for the deep puncture wound he now had. He'd be able to look when they got there. He sped up a little.   
  
"Still awake, buddy?"  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Just checking." The rest of the trip was quiet and despite being light, Rorschach was dead weight. He was secretly very happy to get home.  He used his free hand to lower the Murphy bed they used as a makeshift hospital. He tipped Rorschach onto it as best he could and ran for the medical kit.  
  
When he got back, Rorschach was looking calmly at the knife in his leg. Daniel, because of his choice to wear heavy armor, had never been in a similar position. He'd escaped all their patrols with a tenth of the injuries Rorschach got.   
  
"Ok. I'm going to have to cut the pant leg so I can look at it before we take the knife out." Rorschach looked at him as though he wanted to say something. Daniel cut the leg from the knee to the hem. The knife had gone in at a funny angle. It was a thin knife and it appeard the wound was on the shallow side. It was still a long cut. "Ok. I'm going to take this out... Let's get this off." he started undoing Rorschach's shoe.   
  
"Leave it."   
  
"There's going to be a lot of blood."   
  
"It's fine."  
  
Daniel had already pulled his shoe and the same thick sock he'd given Rorschach weeks ago free. He bit his lip. He had to work on the knife before he could address any of what he saw.   
  
Daniel went to get a clean rag out of the cupboard. He kept a large bag of them for working with Archie and cleaning wounds. He doused it liberally with alcohol. He didn't even bother to tell him it would hurt. They knew. Rorschach wasn't looking at him, and only tensed a little as the area around his injury was cleaned. "Ok. Going to pull it out now.  Ready?"   
  
He pulled it quickly free. A clot of blood came with it and it started bleeding heavily. Daniel had a second clean rag handy. He put alcohol on it and pressed hard on the injury. "It's not as bad as I thought." Daniel said, conversationally while he waited. The bleeding stopped after six minutes.... Just enough time for him to get really worried. A quick waterproof patch was applied. Daniel had a feeling the slightly more expensive wrapping would pay off in the end.  
  
"It's not thick enough to pack, but it's too deep to stitch. Rorschach, we have to talk." He said, running his hand down to his partner's ankle. "Can you feel that?"   
  
"If that's all, I'll leave."  
  
"You're not leaving." Daniel squeezed around his ankle. The skin was ghostly white. "I think you have frostbite." He felt around. Rorschach didn't move as he did so. He just sat there with a posture that almost looked embarrassed. Daniel tried to think back to that time he'd gotten it mountain climbing in his youth. That had been pretty mild. He went to the work sink and started the water, making it hot, but not scalding. Daniel moved to pick Rorschach up but the man dodged without standing. "Give it up. We have to get you warm." Daniel got him on the third try, only because he'd been moving progressively closer to the wall. He picked him up and sat him on the work table. From there his feet could hang in the running water. Daniel removed the other sock and shoe and cut the pantlegs off for good measure. He'd buy him a new pair. Rorschach hissed when his legs touched the water.   
  
"It's too hot."   
  
"It's just hot enough. Shit. I need to get you something..." He ran to the kitchen where the coffee pot was still on. It was a couple hours old now, but it was kept hot. He poured a cup and brought the sugar. "You need to drink this." Rorschach didn't complain about that. He never complained about coffee. Daniel went to start a fresh pot. He had to keep Rorschach's core temperature up. He grabbed a blanket from his bed.  
  
"Daniel." Rorschach sounded warning. At this point he had to be putting on a show. Saving face, as it were. He couldn't seriously think he would leave.   
  
"I want to check your hands, too." Dan said as though he were talking to a child who might need told to wash up for dinner.   
  
"Daniel." This time the tone wavered. He got to him just in time to catch him as he pitched forward. He was cold and small. He had begun shivering. Daniel swore and carried him upstairs. He'd surely be killed for this but what else could he do. He turned the tub on and dropped Rorschach in, letting the water fill in around him clothes and all. He ran back downstairs to turn off the sink before running back up. He kneeled by the tub, shaking his friend.   
  
"Come on, wake up." He got his pulse. It was unsteady and fluttering. He was freezing. When the water reached his mid-chest Daniel stopped it. He decided to set to work getting as much of Rorschach's costume off as was safe. The mask was pulled up over his nose since he'd been drinking. Daniel was grateful he didn't have to do that. He got the gloves off. His hands were in better shape. The scarf joined the gloves. The coat ended up being a mess. It was stuffed with newspaper which had become sopping. He plopped it down beside the tub in a wet mess. He ended up cutting the vest and shirt free with a spare pair of scissors. Rorschach was too hard to maneuver. And if he were without clothes, he couldn't leave. Daniel cut the pants the rest of the way off but left the wifebeater and underwear. They did little as far as modesty was concerned, but Rorschach would appreciate the gesture and maybe not kill him. He drained the water and filled it again with fresh water. The sopping clothes were dumped into a trash bag to be sorted out later. He pulled his armor off and kicked it into a closet before changing into a thick sweater and sweat pants. With the sleeves rolled up, it'd do. He took his pulse every couple minutes and checked his fingers. He didn't want to look at his feet. There could be nothing good come of it. He started taking everything his partner was into account while he could. His arms and legs were thin. There was no extra fat on them. Just bones and wiry, stringy, overworked muscles. He looked at his chest and neck as the only part not submerged.  
  
He scooped water over him and tried to rub some of the grime off. He could clearly see which direction the muscles lay. He felt there might as well have not been skin there, for all the good it was doing. Blue veins stuck out against the pale skin across his chest and arms. Even his chest was freckled, and even those looked pale. Going down his arm he could see the vein easily to the wrist. He lifted one out of the water. How did someone so small create so much brutal force? As he sat he considered that maybe Rorschach wasn't human. He changed the water again and this time it was enough to wake his partner. Daniel lept forward as soon as he started to stir.  
  
"Hey. Buddy. Don't move too much."   
  
"What. The. Hell?" Rorschach grumbled. He grabbed the edges of the tub to try to lift himself before crashing back down. The massive wave covered Daniel.   
  
"Relax. Relax. You started.... dying or something and I had to warm you up. You were frozen through."  
  
"Fine, Daniel. Stop interfering." He made a second go at picking himself up out of the water. It was obvious it would never work. Daniel caught him under the arms in a hug. He expected the blows to his back. Daniel let him run himself down. It didn't take long. He lowered the other man back into the water and shut it off.   
  
"You're going to have to stay here. If you go back up there you'll die, not being dramatic. You passed out. I don't know if it's shock or hypothermia. I can't promise you won't lose.... It's not good." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, which was wet now. "We have to talk, Rorschach."   
  
"There's nothing to say."   
  
"Ok. Let me lay down some ground rules. You're staying here until I say you can leave. We're going to talk. I'm not going to do this ever again. You're going to tell me what's going on. If not today next week-" He put his hand flat over Rorschach's mouth when he moved to speak. The man moved his neck to try to get into a position to bite the offending hand. "Or the week after. Or the week after that. You're staying. You're going to learn to take care of yourself like an adult." Rorschach had given up trying to bite his palm, it wasn't working. "I'm going to get you something to wear."    
  
Daniel stood up and left. He heard Rorschach knocking things down while he was gone. He could have been trying to get out or he could have simply been pitching a fit and trying to break things. Whatever he was doing was probably wearing him out, anyway. He found some clothes that would work. Rorschach liked layers.   
  
"Let me get you out. We can dry you off. I'll let you change and we'll decide what to do next." He'd been soaking Rorschach close to two hours, if his bedroom clock was correct. He'd changed the water four total times. A large beach towel had covered most of Rorschach's body. Daniel helped press his feet dry, not wanting to rub any of the damaged skin. "I'll let you change if you're up to it. He set the tub to drain and stepped out, sitting against the wall where he couldn't see into the bathroom. He heard slow shuffling movements and fabric being pulled. It would all be too big on the small man, but it'd have to do.   
  
WWhen the shuffling stopped Daniel came back in. Rorschach was sitting against the wall, mirroring the position he couldn't have known Dan was in. He looked pitiful in Daniel's clothes. They were over large in every regard. Daniel had brought in long underwear, a sleeveless shirt, sleep pants, a button up nightshirt and a robe. As near as Dan could tell, Rorschach was wearing every bit of it. The robe was closed over his chest and tied tightly shut.   
  
"You're staying in my room. Let's get you up." Daniel let him save face a little as he pulled an arm over his shoulder and let him take some of his own weight. He lugged him to the bed and let him lay down on top of the comforter. "I need to see what we're dealing with." He said, kneeling to look at his feet. They were soft now, no longer frozen. The skin was white and ashy but he could see pink underneath where it had split. He decided to keep Rorschach guessing, though. Any indication of it not being serious might be used as an excuse to leave. "It's pretty bad. You know that right?"   
  
Rorschach sat there impassively. His thin lips didn't even tense. "Do you not care? If you lost a toe?" Rorschach didn't move. "If you lost a foot? Both of them? Do you understand how bad this is?"   
  
"You're a good engineer-"   
  
"You can't _just replace_ parts of a person with engineering, Rorschach." he said simply. He slid down the side of the bed in frustration.   
  
"Too late now. Hindsight's 20/20."   
  
Daniel rubbed his face so he could pause a moment. "Rorschach. I don't even know how to deal with you when you're like this. And I know you better than maybe anyone in the whole world." He rested his forehead against the bed and spoke the last sentence into the comforter. He let his forehead lean forward to rest against Rorschach's knee. "I just want to help. You can let me help."   
  
"No." Rorschach said. He shifted away from Dan. "Can't. Things to do. Crime never stops. Filthy and-"  
  
"I know. I know it never stops but sometimes you have to. You're only one man." He looked up at him "I mean that in the best possible way. You've done so much. Don't you think you've earned a little time... Just to get you well enough to go again."   
  
"Time to become fat? Lazy? Used to" he didn't seem to have a word for it and waved one hand to indicate the room.  
  
"Comfort? Warmth?" Daniel asked accusingly. "What, you're not allowed to have those things?"   
  
Rorschach avoided the question with more skill than he had the knife. "I won't stop until I've saved them all."   
  
"You're not stopping. You're just getting well. You can't do anything at all in this condition. You can't do anything if you literally start falling apart. You can't help anyone right now. Not like this."   
  
"Can't stay here. Isn't my kind of place." Rorschach said. He was tense.   
  
"If you weren't here, where would you go?" No answer. "Do you live somewhere? Do you have a home? Is there someone waiting for you?" Dan wanted to cringe at the pleading in his own voice.   
  
"West side of the city." he said. Daniel knew that was a lie. He'd said it too quick.   
  
"I really doubt you have a permanent home." Dan said. He stayed seated, not looking at him. "And I know there's no one waiting for you. There's no one who can watch you or take care of you."  
  
Rorschach sighed audibly. It was strange to hear. There was a long pause. "Quit working." He said. "After the case. The park's just as good as the apartment ever was." He admitted. The words sounded as though they were coughed up, reluctant to be spoken.   
  
"You could have told me."  
  
"Not your problem. Not going to take advantage of you."   
  
"I live alone in a three bedroom house. It's just empty space." Daniel countered. "And you're my partner. If you're sick or disabled because you can't take care of yourself... you're a bit of a liability. So that makes it my problem."   
  
Rorschach stiffened at that. Daniel didn't know what that meant. Rorschach didn't say. "And," Dan continued "I really do care what happens to you."   
  
"Doesn't matter. There's only the work. There's nothing to-"  
  
"If that sentence ends with 'care about,' so help me God I'll... I'll..." Daniel had stood up. He was furious. "You don't get to tell me what I can and can't do. We've worked together for years. I'm allowed to be worried about you. And you're allowed to let me help you. You teamed up with me because neither of us can do this alone. We can't take on a whole city alone." He was shouting now. The neighbors would wonder, he mused. He pointed out the window. "You think it hasn't already chewed you up and spit you out? Why did you even come here tonight? Huh?" Daniel let the question hang in the air. "You came because you knew you needed help. Not with patrol. You'd die if you tried to spend the night out there."    
  
"Stay if you stop asking questions." Rorscach said when the rant was over.   
  
"Deal." Dan said without hesitation. He held out a hand. Assuming Rorschach didn't break his hand, it'd seal the deal and he could relax a bit.  
  
They shook, nothing broke.   
  
"Ok, lay down and I'll heat some soup for you." He said. Rorschach looked like he was going to protest. Daniel knew it'd be a long process. But he knew he was patient. He was a bird watcher, for Christ's sake. He knew he could be patient. 


	3. February 2nd

Daniel woke early. He hadn't gotten as much sleep as he would like. Rorschach had fallen out of bed in the middle of the night and had refused to get back into it. He had insisted on sleeping on the floor for whatever reason. Daniel had gotten all his spare blankets together and made a surprisingly comfortable bed for the man beside the actual bed. He noticed Rorschach was developing a bit of a wheeze and by morning he had a cough. Daniel knew he would catch it. He always caught what other people had. But somehow it was a relief. It was like all the sickness in his partner's body had decided to come out. His body was making it so he couldn't leave. So he'd have to accept what Dan was giving. In a few weeks or maybe months the man would be new and fresh. He'd remember what it was like to live like a person. Things could only get better. If they could tackle some of the deep seeded issues in the man's psyche, that'd be even better. He had to approach that very carefully though.   
  
Daniel cooked some eggs and ham for their breakfast and took some up to his patient. He'd never call him patient out loud, but it was a fun term to throw around in his head. Rorschach stared at the food when it was brought to him.   
  
"Rorschach, if I bought you a balaclava, would you wear that instead?" He asked as soon as the man swallowed his first mouthful.  
  
"No. This stays." he said.   
  
"I know it's hard for you to breathe around, and it needs cleaned..."  
  
"Can clean it, but it stays where it is." He pinched the edge of it as though it would be snatched from him.   
  
"That's fine. I'm not trying to take anything from you." Daniel said. "We're going to soak you again today with some epsom salt. You can wash your mask and hair and everything then. I'll leave you alone. Promise." he said. Rorschach stared at him but seemed to finally accept he was being honest. After breakfast they did just that. Daniel had to let the salt be examined before Rorschach allowed it to be mixed. He said he trusted epsom salt but ended with "if it really is epsom salt." He apparently knew of a conspiracy or two regarding that. Daniel made it strong and left. He set a clock on the sink. "I'll check in every couple minutes, but I won't come back in here for twenty. I'll stay outside." he said as though talking to a little kid. Rorschach nodded. He didn't start undressing until Dan had left.   
  
Dan heard him get into the water and sigh before leaving to start dinner. He was just going to roast a whole chicken and cook some vegetables. He'd have to go shopping tomorrow. Maybe Hollis would come and just keep an ear out for Rorschach. Just in case he fell or needed help. He'd have to plan it carefully. Chicken was in. He started soup as well before returning up stairs. "How are you doing?" He asked through the wall. He heard Rorschach startle. Maybe he'd dozed off.  
  
"Fine."   
  
"Alright. Soup will be done when you are." He heard the shampoo bottle. It made him smile. He knew the sound was for his sake but that didn't matter. He went to the bedroom and remade the bed. He turned the radio on while he worked. Rorschach would probably complain but he'd get over it. He could hear stuff being moved in the bathroom despite the light music. He made the bed up and resolved to try to get his partner to stay in it this time.   
  
He heard the sound of something being filled and emptied. He wondered if it was the mask. It tempted him so badly. He could walk in there. Claim he thought Rorschach had fallen. He went over in his mind the few things he knew about his appearance. He was small and thin. He's always been small and compact but now he was properly thin. He'd admitted to being jobless and homeless the night before. And that his previous apartment hadn't been great. He knew from his body hair and the small bits he'd seen around the mask that Rorschach was a redhead. Probably Irish or Scottish from all the freckles. He realized he knew quite a lot about the man. He was paranoid. He always had been. He had a very detailed moral code that didn't exclude breaking people's limbs or mashing their faces. He had an extreme personality in every regard. He was a good man though, Daniel thought. He certainly wasn't selfish... Well not in any obvious way.   
  
Daniel was taken out of his quiet consideration by a monstrous splash and pained grunt. He went to the door. "Are you alright in there?" he asked.   
  
"Fell. Fine. Just need a minute."  
  
"I'm coming in." Dan said. He paused a minute and pushed the door open. The mask was back on his head, pulled over his nose. "Here, let me help you out." He reached in and pulled the stopper out. The trick was to act like this was every day. They wouldn't talk about it later. It was going to be alright. The man's bony hands gripped the sides of the tub and he moves as though he would actually make it out this time. Daniel caught him under the arms with a towel and wrapped it around him. Water was everywhere, again. Dan figured this was just going to be the way of it. He sat him on the toilet and moved to look at his feet again. "The soak helped. Can you feel this?" he poked at the white, loose skin that was obviously going to come off. It had split and drained the night before. He looked up and Rorschach shook his head. He pressed a bit harder. Nothing.   
  
"Ok, well, that just means I'll have to keep a very good eye on it. At the very least the skin is going to peel off. If we keep it clean and warm... And if we are very careful, you might be ok in a few weeks." Daniel knew it would be more like months.  
  
"That's too long." Rorschach complained.   
  
"We'll see what we can do but you won't be wearing shoes until this is healed." he took one of Rorschach's hands. Four fingers on his left hand were blistered but they'd be fine eventually. Rorschach started coughing again as the room dried. "Just trust me. You will do so much more when you're well again." Dan said gently. He grabbed some roll gauze and wrapped up the worst of it, checked the waterproof patch. He would have to change it later but it was fine now. "Alright. Let me get you something to wear-"  
  
"This will do." Rorschach said, grabbing the clothes he'd been wearing earlier. Dan reminded himself he didn't have to fight every odd habit the man had. Rorschach changed slowly while Dan fixed up the couch. He wanted to make sure the man wasn't trapped in the bedroom all the time. He closed the curtains and safety pinned them shut. It was daytime and Rorschach wouldn't want to risk being seen.   
  
He went back upstairs just as the belt on the robe was being tied. Rorschach coughed hard before Daniel could speak. "We're going to the living room. I closed the blinds and curtains. No one will see in." Rorschach just coughed and nodded. Daniel picked him up without a word and went down the stairs. He was going to get the workout of his life carrying him around.   
  
"Radio is there." he pointed to the side table. "You can read anyth-"  
  
"Where's my coat?"   
  
"Um... I was just about to wash it and the rest of your clothes." he didn't mention the ones he'd cut up to get him out of them.   
  
"Stuff in the pockets."   
  
"I'll bring it to you."  
  
"I'll wait."   
  
Daniel stood there awkwardly before going to the laundry room. He pulled the sopping wet coat out of the bag. There were more pockets than anyone should ever had. They were all expertly sewn in, even where they weren't an original part of the coat. It was impressive. There were lots of pamphlets. Handkercheifs. The poppers from soda cans. A lot of ruined things. He hadn't considered fishing through the man's things. He thought he was almost done when he found a zipper in the inner seam. Inside was a small package wrapped in plastic bag tied on with a thick satin ribbon. It was an odd contrast. The bag was just a trash bag. The ribbon was quite nice, if wet and muddy. He put that in the pile. Whatever it was was important. He found a pen and some more ruined pamphlets. One clearly said on the front "The End is Nigh." One of those crazy people in the streets probably gave it to him. The rest of the text was bleeding and unreadable. He searched for more pockets. He moved to sort through it to toss out the obvious junk. He had a small pile of ruined papers in hand when he realized he could be looking at the entirety of the man's possessions.   
  
"This is everything I found." He said, picking the pile up and walking to the living room. He put it on the coffee table. Rorschach seemed singularly interested in the plastic bound item. He tore it open. It was his journal. Daniel hadn't seen that thing in years. He considered it was a new one. The pages were wet and stuck together. Rorschach didn't seem too surprised.   
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't know you had that... I was just thinking about getting you warm-" Daniel started.  
  
Rorschach was looking up at him. "You didn't do this." He said. He pulled a couple pages apart. "Storage space flooded when it thawed a few weeks ago." He pulled a few more apart and they crackled. They were obviously brittle. "Was making sure it didn't resoak. Need to retrace entries. Hadn't found time."  
  
Dan nodded. "Alright, if you need a spare pen, that one might have gotten wet."  
  
"Black?" he asked.   
  
Dan smiled. Being asked for something felt like a win, even if it was just a pen. He pulled one from the table beside the phone. "Here you go." he said, smiling. They held it just briefly at the same time.  
  
"Thank you." Rorschach pulled two pages apart and started writing. He was left handed, the injured hand. He wrote carefully so as not to smear it as he wrote. Daniel stood there longer than he should have, but was ignored. He only moved when he heard the soup boil over on the stove. He ran to the hissing. The soup was done. He put some into a deep bowl and put a sandwich together.   
  
"Ok, lunch time," he said. He left it with Rorschach and got his own. He settled at the end of the couch.   
  
He ate half his sandwich before speaking. Rorschach was quiet as ever aside from the coughing.  
   
"I'm really glad- I mean I'm proud at how you've adjusted." He shifted in his seat, folding a leg under himself and turning to face him more directly. "I've thought a couple times-" he chuckled a bit, not knowing how to say what he wanted. "We'll I've just thought 'He's going to kill me for this.' Just. You're very intimidating."   
  
Rorschach had been eating his sandwich slowly with his right hand while still writing. At Daniel's words he stopped and looked up. He was completely unreadable. They sat there looking at each other silently before Rorschach finally looked back to his book.   
  
"What?" Daniel asked. He'd never seen that reaction from the man.   
  
"Never." Was all he said.  
  
"Rorschach?"  
  
"Never meant to give you that impression. You're a good man. If you're scared, why are you doing this?" He asked.  
  
"I've already given you all the reasons. You don't deserve any of what's happened to you. Look at me." Whether he glanced over or not, Dan couldn't tell. "You're my partner. We've been working together for years. I don't just stop worrying about you when I take the suit off."  
  
"Watched you. Sometimes. Carelessly walking around unprotected. In bad areas. You look like a target."  
  
"I do not."  
  
"Boyish face and hair. Nice clothes. Always smiling. Good posture. Looks carefree."   
  
"But if someone did attack me... I could handle it."   
  
"Maybe."  
  
Dan decided to change the topic "So we've been in the same place together... Out of costume?"  
  
"Often."  
  
"I never picked you out. I always thought I'd be able to pick you out if I saw you."  
  
"You weren't looking. That's why you're trustworthy."   
  
Daniel smiled at that. "If you wanted me to know it was you, you would have said something to me." He shrugged, bringing the soup to his lips so he wouldn't babble.   
  
Rorschach went back to his writing for a while. He finished the lunch provided. Dan read a book he'd been working on. The silence was mostly comfortable. They each pursued their own task for a couple hours.   
  
"Daniel." Rorschach said. When he looked up, Rorschach had one hand on his mask.   
  
"Rorschach."   
  
The hand didn't move. He was biting his lip. "A balaclava would be acceptable... Hair won't dry under this." Daniel lept up and went to get it. He was glad he'd bought three. He'd gotten them thinking about Rorschach being out during the day out of costume. He picked the thinnest one, since the worry was about his hair drying.   
  
He handed it over and turned his back. He didn't want to presume.   
  
He heard a deep breath and some shuffling of fabric. Then a page turn. "Clear." Rorschach said. Daniel went to his seat and picked up his book. He wasn't going to stare. He wanted to look. They sat in silence a while. He finally looked up from his book when the oven timer dinged.   
  
Daniel got back up. He'd see when he came back. There was no way he couldn't. He busied himself putting some vegetables on while he turned the oven off. The chicken would rest just long enough. It'd all be done soon and they could piece on it through the day into the evening. He got two Colas out of the fridge and opened them. He knew Rorschach liked them, from the can tops in his pocket. He stood just beyond the doorway to the living room and took a deep breath. Then he went in. Rorschach didn't look up from his writing. The new mask had the eyes cut out and the mouth. "Here" he handed one of the sodas over.   
  
Rorschach looked up just long enough to meet his eyes. Green. Red hair, Green eyes. He looked away after deliberately pausing to let Daniel look. He wiggled the top off and put it with the others in the mess on the table. He went back to writing. Daniel sat down and looked at him from the side. He felt he had permission now to look a little. The shape of his face was clearly visible. It reinforced what Dan knew of the man's body. It was sunken. He was dark around the eyes. Daniel remember reading that was sleep deprivation or anemia. He'd have to watch for that. He'd expected the man to be more handsome, but instead he looked hard. He could see the top of his cheeks. They looked as though they had been frostbitten too. Sitting outside all day in the cold wind... That'd do it. He wasn't ugly though, as far as Dan could tell. Hard, gruff, but not ugly. He'd look average with some weight on him and if he were less pale. He had his mask on his lap, under one wrist. As though it needed pinned down or would run away. Above all, he looked human.   
  
Daniel stopped looking and picked up one of the papers he'd been neglecting. He was correcting it for errors for a young ornithologist he knew and suggesting places to expand on the topic. Rorschach kept writing, tracing blurred words and peeling delicate pages apart. The coughing kept getting weaker. He wasn't bringing anything up and his breathing sounded frothy and labored. Daniel decided to give him until the evening. If things hadn't gotten any better, he'd figure something out. But what? Rorschach would definitely object to any medicine Daniel had. Dan was the opposite. When he got sick he loaded up on medicine and made a hot toddy for effect and slept it off. Rorschach wouldn't even drink tap water. But he would drink soda.   
  
He'd started counting the soda tabs he had and put them into the pocket of his borrowed robe. He finished the coke and went back to writing. He looked content to sit there for the rest of the day.   
  
Daniel checked the vegetables. Everything was done. The chicken came out and he cut it into thick slices.   
  
"Dinner's done. I know it's early..." he looked at his watch "but we can piece on it all day. You should probably eat when you feel like it."   
  
Daniel realized there was no way in hell Rorschach was going to be able to get up and get any. "I'll just make a spread in here."   
  
He put the chicken on a serving plate and finalized the slices so they'd come up easy. He found his serving dishes. They only got any use when Hollis came over for holidays. Corn in one... Rorschach's favorite beans in the other. This would be the first time he had them hot as far as Dan was aware. He made two trips to get it to the coffee table and then a third for utensils. He put serving spoons and some and filled a plate. He handed it to Rorschach who placed his mask and journal beside him. He took the plate and looked at it. After a few minutes of staring, he started with the beans.   
  
He was hesitant about the chicken. He poked it with his fork a few times. Like he hadn't had actual meat that looked like meat in a while. It struck Dan that maybe he hadn't. Rorschach had childish tastes in food. Canned beans, sugar, coke, dry cereal. He recounted the things he'd seen Rorschach eat before. It was all food that could be eaten without perparation. Things that provided no substance but would give the man enough energy to keep going. He eventually ate it after Daniel took a second piece. He didn't go for seconds until many hours later, after some more writing and a trip to the bathroom he demanded to make on his own even if he had to crawl. He had started off walking, standing painfully. He'd rethought that after just a few steps and sat on the floor. Daniel felt he'd learn on his own.  
  
"I could get you a wheelchair. At least down here there's enough room." Daniel offered when the man had crawled back from the bathroom. At least he hadn't had to go to the upstairs one, Daniel figured. He noticed as the day went on in silence that Rorschach became more twitchy. He startled when the neighbor's ancient car backfired. He stared at the closed window when the family down the road walked by laughing and talking. Being able to see his face was remarkable. Even if it wasn't the whole face. His eyes were sharp and bright. They flitted around the room frequently. Over at Daniel. To the far corner. Then the entryway, then back to his rewriting. As night set in, Rorschach became dramatically more antsy.   
  
"Are you in pain?" Daniel asked plainly, not looking up from his work.   
  
"No."   
  
"What's wrong."   
  
"It's wrong to be sitting here. Usually start right when it gets dark."   
  
Daniel thought for a moment. He had to spin this just right. "You say I'm a good man, right"  
  
"You are."   
  
"So being a good man, I know what is right and wrong, wouldn't you say?"  
  
"Generally." Rorschach said.  
  
"It's not wrong for you to stay here. The right thing to do is to get better and be more effective. Quality over quantity. That kind of thing." His metaphor fell apart as he spoke but he hoped it was understandable.   
  
"Even good men can be misguided. Regardless.... Can't stand. No clothes. Congested. Not going anywhere."  
  
"About that.... I have some cough medicine.... If you'd take it."   
  
"Poison." Rorschach said as though it were the obvious answer.  
  
"An expectorant might be able to help you get that gunk out of your lungs. I've noticed you're not... bringing anything up." Daniel scrunched his nose a bit at the way he worded it.  
  
"And die of poison."   
  
"I could take some at the same time, if it'd make you feel better." Daniel knew it'd knock him out but he'd be ok.   
  
"No." It was final.   
  
"I could make you a hot toddy." He suggested. Rorschach immediately whipped his head around to look at him. "It's tea, honey, lemon and a little whiskey. It's a Scott-" He was cut off by something colliding with his face. Rorschach had lost it.   
  
He pinched his nose, which had started bleeding, and waited until he could open his eyes. Rorschach had backed up to sit on the arm of the chair. He looked alarmed. He looked like he wanted to run away.  
  
"Whoa. Sorry. Whatever I said, I'm sorry." Daniel said, despite being the one bleeding.   
  
Rorschach shook his head. "None of that." He growled angrily.   
  
"I'm sorry. I wasn't suggesting you get drunk. I'm trying to help."   
  
"The tea... Earlier?"  
  
"There was nothing in it but tea." The increased activity had sent Rorschach into a coughing fit that threatened to topple him of the arm of the chair. Daniel sprung up to get him and put him back in place. He handed him a pillow and wrapped his arms around it. "That might help." The coughing didn't subside after a few minutes. "Breathe. Come on." he rubbed the frail, heaving back. His breathing was irregular and his lips were looking a little blue. Daniel didn't know how to help. Rorschach didn't seem to have the strength to bring up whatever was causing the cough and couldn't stop long enough to get a deep breath. He started to panic after a few moments and grabbed at Dan's shirt.   
  
Dan fought his own panic and sat down in front of him. He pulled Rorschach bodily against him with the pillow between them and held him tight. A couple firm thumps on the back and Rorschach fished one of his rescued handkerchiefs out of his pocket, gasping for air. Dan rocked a little, holding him firm. The breathing made him cough more. Dan supported his body.   
  
"It's like you're trying to scare me to death." Daniel said gently.  
  
"Sorry." Rorschach said plainly. He didn't try to struggle away or flee. Daniel kept holding him. "No more fighting."   
  
"You'll be back out there soon enough." he said.   
  
"Not them, you."   
  
"Oh. Does that mean you won't throw anything else? Because that's really all I want." Daniel tried to keep it light."   
  
Rorschach just lowered his chin to rest against Daniel's shoulder. He coughed a couple more times. Daniel's arms were started to get tired. He was holding Rorschach tight, trying to keep him supported. Finally he spoke again. "Let's go lay down, I can work on your feet and you can try to rest." Rorschach didn't say anything. Daniel grabbed his mask, journal and pen and picked him up. They went to the bedroom. Rorschach let himself be laid down. All the fight had gone out of him. It was a little unnerving. He just laid there.   
  
Daniel covered him most the way up and uncovered his feet. He unwrapped the loose bandages he'd applied. The skin that was peeling earlier had separated. Some of it tried to come off with the gauze. Daniel went to the bathroom and got his scissors, the alcohol and some vaseline. He had very little idea what he was doing. "I'm going to try to get some of this skin off. It's really dead.... I need you to tell me where you can feel it and where you can't."  
  
He pulled some latex gloves out of the bedside table and put them on. He grabbed a piece of skin. It was thick, the exposed flesh underneath was between pink and red. Raw and new, but it looked healthy. "Tell me when you can feel it."   
  
Rorschach didn't say anything. Daniel poked him where he knew he could feel. "I felt that."   
  
"But nothing before?"  
  
Rorschach shook his head. Daniel cleaned the scissors and ran his finger up the loose piece again. "Are you sure?" Rorschach nodded. Daniel cut it off. The whole area was going to end up one big open wound. The skin that was left was the very bottom layer. It was delicate and damp looking. Daniel continued the pattern- touch, test, cut, over the entire area. Only once did he hit something with feeling. He cleaned it with water and the softest cloth he had, an eyeglass cleaning cloth.   
  
"I don't want to use alcohol on it, so I'm going to use vaseline. It's a new tub so it should be clean..." he opened it and started rubbing it on gently. Rorschach didn't seem to feel it at all. It shoudl have hurt. "Almost done with this side." He got more sterile gauze and wrapped it around until the thick layer of vaseline no longer bled through.  
  
He finished the other side. "You cannot walk on that. At all. I'll change the bandages twice a day or something. We'll watch it. It's not good." Daniel said bluntly. Rorschach nodded. "I'm not joking. Your feet do not touch the floor until I say they can."   
  
Rorschach shifted uncomfortably at that but didn't speak. He coughed a little. Daniel was worried he'd start up again. It was only a few minutes before he did. Daniel got ahold of him from the back this time. He had just started to panic when he got a good breath in.   
  
"This is miserable" Dan said, stroking Rorschach's head through the balaclava. Rorschach was too busy drawing in big gasps of air to fight him. "I wish yo would take something." he said gently.  
  
"Tomorrow. If it keeps happening." the small man said.  
  
"I'll hold you to that."  
  
"Won't have to."  
  
"Well, try to get some sleep." Daniel said, pulling the covers up over them.  
  
"Like this?"   
  
"I could move to the side but I'm not leaving you."  
  
"Not comfortable." Rorschach did start struggling at that.  
  
"Just relax. Shhh. There's nothing going to hurt you here."   
  
"Filthy. In another man's bed." Daniel felt Rorschach struggle and free himself from his grip. He started to topple out of the bed but Daniel managed to grab the blankets and pull him back.  
  
"Stop." Daniel shouted. It startled his partner enough. "We're not doing anything filthy."   
  
"Intrinsic to the position."   
  
"We can lay some other way." Daniel offered, pulling the blankets tighter around him when he started to struggle again. "Why do you think we're doing something wrong. You're wearing half a dozen layers of clothes. I'm wearing... three. And we don't think of each other that way."  
  
"No one ever intends-"  
  
"For what? Do you think we're going to be laying here, you with a large portion of your skin missing and coughing up chunks of your lungs and we're going to decide to rip each other's clothes off and... what?"   
  
"Reptilian part of the brain. You're not aware of it. It think things you'd never imagine." Rorschach said, pointing at Daniel's forehead. "You, Me, business people, masks, good people, bad people, everyone. But not Rorschach."   
  
Daniel couldn't figure out the distinction at the in. The way he said it made it sound important.  
  
"Rorschach... Even if I wanted to, you're really kinda gross right now." He had no idea if this was a good way to take it. "You're sick. I worry that if I wrap these blankets too hard around you that you'll just break in half. I don't plan on doing anything to you. Not anything that any reasonable person could find objectionable."   
  
He relaxed his arms a bit, letting the blanket loosen. Rorschach was sitting back on his heels on the bed, not a great position all things considered. "I need to be right here tonight. If you start coughing again and can't breathe... Well. I'm a heavy sleeper. You need to be able to reach around and hit me or something. And I feel better being close. I can't have anything happen to you." He said.   
  
Rorschach looked at him. The sharp eyes were looking him up and down, trying to find any hint that Daniel was being less than truthful. The man held his head perfectly level as he did this. Daniel wondered how often he did this under the mask. Looking hard at him, trying to determine his motives. He thought he'd built some level of trust up with his partner, but maybe he'd just read it wrong.   
  
"Look, buddy, your choice. One way or the other you're sleeping in this bed and I'll be nearby. If I have to, I'll camp out on the floor." He said. He loathed that idea but he needed to be here and he needed sleep. He started to slowly get up, keeping his hands up and open while he scooted towards the edge of the bed.   
  
"No. Stay." Rorschach brought a hand up and scratched his head vigorously. "Should know better. You're trying your best." Daniel stilled where he sat. "Should try harder... I should try harder." he said. He rarely broke out the word "I" anymore. Daniel hadn't figured out what was up with that.   
  
"It's ok. I know how you are." he said with a smile. He slid down under the covers on the edge. "Lay as near or far as you want, but if you start choking again, know I will be..... close." he said like a preemptive apology.   
  
"It's fine." Rorschach moved carefully on his hands and knees so he could get into the bed.   
  
An hour passed in the quiet. Rorschach was still as a board, completely unmoving.   
  
"Can't sleep?"  
  
"You're not either."  
  
"I'm worried about you. You need to relax." Daniel rolled over to face him.   
  
"Can't. This bed. It's not right."   
  
"I can leave."   
  
"It's not you."   
  
"Ok, well, just try to relax and you'll fall asleep anyway. Just try to think of pleasant things. Like... well bird watching would probably bore you... What do you do when you're not in the mask?"  
  
"Watch people. Listen to their lies." Of course he'd put it that way. "Find targets. Write."  
  
"Writing. Writings a good one. Is it relaxing?"  
  
"No."   
  
Daniel chuckled at that. "Of course its not. What did you do for work? Before?"   
  
"Garment worker."   
  
"Is that where you got the mask fabric?" Somehow, Rorschach tensed more. "We don't need to talk about that." Daniel said for him.   
  
"I don't know how to help you. You're exhausted. If you give yourself just a few minutes, you'll fall asleep." Daniel tried. He reached foward to touch Rorschach's back. He kept his fingers folded into his palm and rubbed with his knuckles, trying to work some of the tension out of him. It worked a little. The stiffness in his back relaxed and a weak little noise Dan wasn't meant to hear came from him. "That's it." Daniel said gently. "Relax." One of Rorschach's hands went to his face and he curled in on himself away from Dan. Dan dared to shift a fraction closer, "You're safe" he said. He knew one wrong word could send the man into another rage. He let his hand close around Rorschach's shoulder and give it a squeeze. His eyes had adjusted to the dark and even with his glasses off he could see the man's sharp corners. His shoulder blades sticking out awkwardly. "You're safe now." He repeated before withdrawing his hand. Rorschach's breathing was even, if still a bit croupy. Daniel got up and went to the bathroom. He turned the sink on and let himself cry.   
  
He wasn't cut out for this. Rorschach was the strongest man he knew. Dan couldn't hold a candle to the guy's willpower and strength. He didn't have any idea how to handle the situation. He cried because he was the last stop for his friend. He was the only one who could or would try to keep him safe. Even now the strange, little man would only take as little as he could get away with. He was looking at weeks of recovery and he inteded to fight Dan the entire time. He'd said he would try harder, but having the capacity was a completely different ballgame.   
  
Dan realized that though he'd made Rorschach bathe twice he hadn't himself. He shut the sink off, glad he hadn't run the hot water, and turned the shower on. He'd be quick. He stripped out of his lounge clothes and stepped in. It was a quick affair, scrubbing his hair, sluicing soap over his body. He dried off, scrubbing his face the with rough towel, and redressed. His nightclothes and robe couldn't have gotten that dirty. He bundled himself up and returned to the bedroom. He'd left his glasses but he could tell Rorschach was watching him.   
  
"Hey, did I wake you up?" he asked calmly. "I didn't mean to."  
  
"Never slept." Dan sighed inwardly he'd hoped.   
  
"Do you... have insomnia?"  
  
"Usually sleep in the afternoon, in the park. Usually patrolling right now. "  
  
"Right. That makes sense." Dan said, sitting down. He usually slept in the early morning until almost noon. His life was kind of lazy that way. "I don't want to break your routine... but I'm not sure I can adapt to yours."  
  
"Said I would try harder." He grumbled with a cough.   
  
Daniel smiled at that for a second. He climbed into the bed and settled as near the edge as he felt safe. He startled a little when he felt one insistant hand pulling at his arm. "You'll fall off." Rorschach said. It was just the smallest show of concern and a little concession. Permission to get a little closer.   
  
Daniel scooted in to a more comfortable place. "This ok?" He asked.   
  
"Yeah." Rorschach kept looking at him. He shifted so he could face him as well.  
  
"Try to sleep. You don't have to. But try. If you need something, I'm right here." He found Rorschach's hand and gave it a squeeze under the cover. "Just shake me awake or anything. Anytime." Another squeeze and he released his hand.  Daniel had to force his body to relax. Being this close to Rorschach. Facing each other. Knowing he was being watched. It was unnerving at best. He tried to think about birds. It worked. He thought about the six months he spent watching a single family of birds on his roof. They'd been beautiful. Just pigeons. Normal city pigeons, but he'd seen them grow and fly away. He'd spent hours drawing them and... He slept.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of domestics.

The morning came too quick and woke Daniel too early. Rorschach had fallen asleep and his balaclava had become twisted around. Daniel briefly considered putting it straight. It sounded like a good way to get his fingers broken. He knew the balaclava had been an impulsive decision on Rorschach's part. He had probably become uncomfortable with his hair being wet and the closed windows had probably still felt too exposed. He'd worry about their identities. He'd worry about any little cracks and children peering through them. Something like that. Daniel got up and searched the kitchen. He needed to shop. Breakfast ended up being eggs and chicken from the night before. It seemed kind of wrong but at least it was food. He was a bachelor, this wasn't as unusual to Dan as it should have been. He took some up to the room. The bedside table took it, as Rorschach was still asleep. Dan went downstairs. 

The phone at the other end of the line rang a few times. 

"Hollis, it's Danny."

"Danny! How's it been?"

"Oh, you know. The usual."

"What happened?" Hollis had an amazing gift for reading him. 

"Rorschach's staying with me. That's why I called."

"Oh?" 

"Yeah, I need to get groceries, but I can't leave him alone."

"I could swing by this afternoon." Hollis offered. 

"Only if you stay for dinner."

"I'll bring beer."

"No. That's a bad idea. He almost broke my nose yesterday for mentioning alcohol." 

Hollis was quiet at that. 

"He just doesn't like drinking."

"You did say he's a weirdo."

"I didn't say it like that!"

"Calm down, kid. I'll pop around at two and you can do what you need to." 

"Thank, you're a lifesaver. Literally... We'd starv- We're almost out of everything." he said, he couldn't bring himself to finish the first sentence.

"No problem. See you then." Daniel went upstairs. 

"You awake?" he asked lightly.

"Yeah." 

Daniel stepped in "Hollis Mason's coming by later."

Rorschach looked up at him, but didn't say anything. He hadn't been awake long. He was holding a piece of chicken between his fingers and looking at it as thought it held the answers to the universe within its stringy meaty bits. 

"I need to do some grocery shopping. We have half a chicken and some cans left." He shifted awkwardly "I usually eat out. Cooking's probably better for me, anyway." he added. "Anyway, Hollis will stay downstairs. He's just here to make sure nothing happens while I'm gone."

"Make sure he does." Rorschach said. He had his shifting mask in hand. He looked like he wanted to put it on. 

"You can wear that if you want. I kind of like being able to see you, though." Rorschach flinched at the half-compliment. "I don't mean that in a bad way... Just... No pressure. Whatever you want to do." 

"He doesn't need to be here." Rorschach said, sounding bitter. 

"He's staying downstairs unless he hears you falling, screaming, or choking to death. He has excellent hearing." 

"Just falling." Rorschach said. 

"And if you're up here and you can't breathe?"

"Been fine since last night." 

"You sound horrible." 

Rorschach opened his mouth, which made him wheeze, and then closed it. The argument made itself. Dan waited. He gave it another go. Dan waited. He gave the comforter a hard look for a moment, as though it had insulted him. 

"More sleep is in order." He said, finally. 

"Of course. I'll wake you when Hollis gets here." He went to his closet to pick some clothes out for the day. He had every intention of getting Rorschach a few of his own clothes as well. He heard shuffling behind him but tried to ignore it. He found he was very curious to watch Rorschach. He wanted to see how he did things. Try to find where something was wrong. He felt if he could observe the man just being, he could fix him. He picked some normal day wear and turned to leave. Rorschach had pulled his mask on, over the bridge of his nose so he could breathe. He was uncovered save the layers of clothes. He was huddled up though. Daniel chanced pulling the blankets up around his shoulders and left. Not. A. Word. He dressed in the bathroom and straightened the living room. The blankets from yesterday hadn't been moved. Hollis arrived just on time with a knock to the door. 

"Hey, Thank you so much, Hollis. It's great to see you." They hugged and went to the kitchen. "I have coffee and cola." He offered. Hollis went for a coffee and they sat. 

"So, he's here?" Hollis nodded towards the Nest. 

"In my room. You don't have to do much. Just listen for him falling, shouting, or choking."

"How bad is he?" Hollis asked. He had disapproved of the kind of violence Rorschach doled out, but it was in the man's nature to ask.

"I don't think he'll lose anything, but it's not good. I've told him weeks. It's going to be months." Dan confided. "He also has some kind of chest cold and won't take anything for it. He might dodge pneumonia just because he's stubborn." Hollis chuckled at that."I can get him some avian antibiotics and make him take a course of that. It'll be hard but he'll live."

"What about you, kid?"

"I'll be fine. You know me." Dan waved the question off. 

"You look exhausted."

"Oh, I am. But it's already getting easier." 

"I'll believe that when I see it." 

They talked a few minutes. "I'm going to go tell him you're here. I won't be gone long either. Just keep an ear out. Help yourself to anything." 

He stood and went upstairs. "Rorschach." He said, shaking the bed a little. Rorschach lifted his head. The mask made him unreadable again. "Hollis is here. He's going to be downstairs. If you need something, give a shout." Rorschach didn't answer, but his lips pressed into a tighter line. "I'll bring some water up before I go." 

Daniel returned downstairs. "He's not happy." he told Hollis. "If you could just shout up to him a couple times? He'll probably answer." 

"I'll keep an eye on him. Don't worry." Hollis settled into the living room with the newspaper and Daniel left. He took a cab to a department store. Rorschach was small. Men's small would definitely be the right size. No question about it. He picked out three pairs of long underwear, two jeans, two sets of sleep clothes so at least one could be washed at all times, and a Rorschach-sized robe. It'd all fit better than Daniel's anyway. He blew through the store, grabbing odds and ends. He paid and left, throwing the reciept out as soon as he found a trash can. He called a cab to the grocery and started pulling tags of everything. He rumpled it all up in the bag. He had every intention of telling Rorschach they were second-hand. The grocery was blissfully empty. He breezed through. He got every different sandwich meat and cheese they had. Sides. Bread. Steak and ground beef. He could make spaghetti with meat. Soup, broth crackers. He got as much as he could carry. Checkout took entirely too long. He noted he'd been gone hours, despite his intention to be fast. The cab ride was too slow, but eventually he and his bags were home again. 

He opened the door to a crashing sound. "Hollis?" He called, dropping the bags in the foyer. 

"In here." he followed the voice to the living room. There was a crash in the kitchen. He gave Hollis an alarmed look, while the man just sat there looking pleased as punch, staring down his newspaper.

Daniel followed the crash to the kitchen and saw what was probably the strangest sight he'd ever seen. And he had seen Dr. Manhatten. Up close. Really close. In all his glory.

Rorschach had somehow found his way into the kitchen. He was on the floor under the table with the coffee maker. The coffee from before was spilled on the floor and counter. It was happily sputtering, making a fresh pot.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine." Came Rorschach's unamused grumble and a cough. "Making coffee." 

They both heard Hollis chuckle from the other room. 

"I'm gonna get the groceries." Dan said. He would have to figure out the chain of events later. He put everything away and handed Rorschach a mug when he heard the coffee maker spitting its last desperate drips from the basket. He wiped up with the dish rag. "So, how'd you get down here?" he asked as nonchalantly as he could.

"The stairs." Vague but pragmatic answer.

"You're supposed to stay in bed." 

Rorschach shrugged. He drank the coffee to busy himself. "We can talk about it later." he said, nodding towards the living room. "I'm making spaghetti tonight. Hollis, want to make garlic toast?" he asked. 

Rorschach stayed under the table. Weirder things had happened. Hollis and Dan fell into an easy silence, having a silent conversation with their eyebrows and nods. Mostly about Rorschach. He still had the coffee pot. He was quiet but they heard him refill his cup a couple times. Dan shooed him while the food cooked, promising just a few minutes. Hollis went to the bathroom, saying he needed to wash up before dinner.

"Rorschach, buddy. You alright under there?"

"Fine. Short cord on the coffee pot. Couldn't stand. Tired." 

Dan looked at the path of destruction. It was obvious now. Rorschach had somehow made it down the stairs, fallen, tried to get the coffee pot down, spilled the morning's brew and settled by the only plug he could reach.

"You couldn't get into a chair?"

"Doesn't matter. Tired." 

"Let's get you up. I'll help you make a fresh pot. Dinner will be soon." He reached for Rorschach and maneuvered him into a chair. He had the black and white mask back on and he had pulled his coat on over the robe and night clothes. The overall effect was still pretty intimidating. Daniel picked everything up and emptied the strongest pot of coffee he'd ever smelled. It was thick. It appeared Rorschach had added sugar directly to the pot. He washed it without a word before getting another pot started. Daniel excused himself. He found Hollis looking at one of his books in the far corner of the living room

"What. Happened?"

Hollis chuckled at Daniel's conspiratorial whisper. "He came down in his mask and pajamas, refused help, painstakingly found his coat... I ignored him until I heard crashing. He was trying to stand at the counter but fell. He reached up and took down the coffee pot. Spilled it everywhere... except somehow on himself. He let me get some water to brew... Then he spent the rest of the time under the table trying to make coffee. How does somehow his age not know how to use a coffee pot?"

"He did alright. Let's just have dinner. You're a good man, Hollis." Dan said. He realized he sounded like Rorschach saying that, but he knew how much he liked it when Rorschach said it. It was always so earnest. From a guy like Rorschach, who hated and alienated everyone, it was a high compliment. He hoped it felt the same for Hollis. Hollis closed the book he'd been looking at and smiled his gentle smile. 

"Well, I think the garlic bread will be done soon." He clapped a hand down on Dan's shoulder. "Let's eat." 

Rorschach was still sitting at the table. He appeared to be staring at it. "Dinner's done."

Rorschach nodded. Daniel served it to the dinner table. Hollis tactfully disappeared while Rorschach was moved to the small dining room. "Hollis, you're going to miss out." Dan said when it was clear. He started serving all the plates. Rorschach had his mask up over his nose and didn't seem too bothered. He picked at the food. Dinner was quiet, and went on much longer than expected. Rorschach picked at the food but eventually finished it. His coughing got worse as the night continued. Hollis took his leave and they exchanged heartfelt invitations to visit. 

Dan looked out at the darkening street as Hollis got his cab. "Everything ok?" He asked Rorschach. "You didn't seem to like dinner."

"Tomatoes. Don't like red food." Dan hadn't expected that one.

He thought about that for a moment. "I'll make alfredo next time. It's white." 

Rorschach nodded distractedly. 

"It's something else. What is it?"

"Listened to the radio. Bad news." He said somberly. He pulled the mask the rest of the way down.

"What happened?" Dan hoped it didn't have something to do with a case.

"Need to go. Something to do." He said. 

"You can't leave."

"Has to be done."

"Is it something I can do?" Dan asked carefully. He kept his tone level.

Rorschach squirmed under his gaze. 

"Place I grew up in being demolished. Hide my journals there. In the floor. Other stuff too." Rorschach said after a few long minutes. 

"Do you want me to go get them?"

"Can't. It's too close." 

"When is it being demolished?"

"Three days. Have to go." Rorschach moved like he was going to get up. "Well enough. Can't let them be found. Sloppy. Leaving them in there. Identity is compromised" 

"Rorschach. I've seen most your face. I trust you completely. Would it be so bad to let me go get them for you?" 

Rorschach shifted. "Will seriously consider it." he finally promised. "Need time to think." 

Dan smiled and nodded. "Do you want to watch some television?"

"Liberal garbage." He coughed. He kept the mask down, breathing around it awkwardly. 

"Sounds like you should lay down." He filed away the coughing getting worse at night. He wasn't sure what that meant but he had sounded fine earlier. 

"Maybe." Rorschach said. Daniel picked him up and helped him get ready for bed. He had to force Rorschach to brush his teeth with baking soda paste, since he knew he wouldn't use flouride-containing toothpaste. He made him rinse with some hydrogen peroxide. "Let me see your teeth." He said. He pulled Rorschach's lip down and almost got bit. 

"Don't touch." 

"Then let me see. I can only imagine the state your mouth is in." Rorschach finally opened his mouth. He had a couple broken teeth, and his breath was still vile... And Dan remembered when he'd lost that molar fighting a huge mountain of a man, but Daniel was surprised that his mouth looked as good as it did. "Your tonsils are out." Rorschach nodded a bit. "Good. I was worried about that."

Rorschach snapped his mouth shut and looked over Dan's shoulder. "Ready for bed?" Rorschach shrugged. Daniel picked him up and took him to the room. Rorschach got his coat off and sat on the edge of the bed a while. Dan would give him his new clothes in the morning.

Dan found his sleep shirt and pants. He went to change. When he got back, Rorschach was under the covers, facing away from him. He was on the far side of the bed with his back turned to the door. His red hair was clearly visible, clean and sticking up in every directions. He had the mask off. Dan felt like he was being put to some kind of test. He almost wanted to panic. He turned the light off and padded to the bed, sitting on the edge. He laid down and kept his distance. "Sleep well, Rorschach."

"Hmmm." 

There were a few minutes of silence. Their neighbor's ancient car backfired next door. They both startled at it. 

"Can do it, Daniel." Rorschach said after a minute. 

"Sleep?" Dan asked, hoping that was the answer. Rorschach's voice was low and somber. 

"Anything. I'm weak." 

"Rorschach." Dan turned to him "You're one of the strongest people I know. You're just sick." 

"Morally. Morally weak." Rorschach kept his back to Dan and curled in on himself. 

Dan reached out for a second time and rubbed his back gently. 

"Stop." Rorschach tensed. "None of that." 

Dan jerked his hand back. "Rorsc-"

"STOP!"

Rorschach turned to look at him. The window let in just enough light to outline his head in a blurry sort of way, "Rorschach's not weak. Not a filthy, weak imposter."

"Are you saying you're not Rorschach." 

"Thought Walter was dead. He died with the girl. There was only Rorschach." 

"Is Walter your name?" Dan asked. Rorschach shook his head. Then stopped and hit the bed with the side of his fist. 

He rolled back over. Angry and frustrated. "Walter's weak. A stupid child. He was never good for anything." Rorschach balled his fists and hit himself in the head a couple times. Dan lept forward and grabbed his arms.

"Stop that." Dan said, calmly. "You're not going to hurt yourself here. Or anywhere, if I can help it." 

"Get back." Rorschach struggled. He slid sideways, finally making them both tumble out of the bed. Dan managed to land on the bottom. His greater weight had made righting them easy. 

"Ror-Walter." Dan said awkwardly. "Please. Just relax." He clamped his arms around the shaking man who was nothing like his partner now. All of it was to hide this. He felt he had to keep it hidden. Under layers of clothes. In short sentences. Walter bore all of Rorschach's rage and suffered his fury when he couldn't be out. Every moment he was trapped. "There, there." He said lamely, rubbing his back. Walter was light enough for Dan to stand up. His back hurt where it had hit the ground. "No one's going to hurt you here, not even Rorschach." Dan promised. 

He laid down, cradling Walter who shivered between his arms. "You're fine." All the reassurances in the world weren't going to fix this mess. "Why don't you tell me what happened?" He felt him shrug. Maybe a more specific question. "Is there anything I can do to help you sleep?" 

There was a long period of silence. "Just be still." He finally breathed out. It was an odd position. Dan was leaned back against the pillows. Rorschach or Walter, whoever, had slid off his body to lay on his arm. His legs were draped over Daniel's thighs. 

"Right, ok." He pulled the blankets up. Walter's face was peaceful after a minute. He took small, wheezy breaths between his lips and had closed his eyes. Even from here, Dan could see there were a lot of freckles. He snuggled himself in and closed his eyes. Rorschach's hand were tangled in the front of Dan's shirt. They twitched occasionally. Daniel finally put his own hand over his partner's. He shifted himself a bit, pinned arm pulling the pillow under Rorschach's head. At least he wouldn't lose the arm to pins and needles.


End file.
